It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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