I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
