There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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