I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
