when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
