you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
