Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
