I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
smell my finger.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
