Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize