Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
