just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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