wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
