I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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