I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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