nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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