Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
