I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If I die, sorry about rent.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
