is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
