i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
