you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
