I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I think my moral compass just broke
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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