none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
we're so committed to being not committed
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
