i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
