i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
