12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize