im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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