Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
