If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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