SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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