I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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