I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize