dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
if only i could text you this smell
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
