glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
