TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
