I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
vagina is talking i cant
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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