Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
false alarm. still invincible.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
