i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
