A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I think my moral compass just broke
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
