So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
