Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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