You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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