Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
