My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
