1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
COCAINE IS GR8
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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