I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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