Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
