did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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