Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
