Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
