Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
