wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
