Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she peed on how many people?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
