Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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