Reggie can tackle my bush.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
