now i know why i became what i already was.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
