found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
