Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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