Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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