Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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