The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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