so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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