I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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