just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
