If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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