We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
